How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws!!..

[layback40]

I was chatting to a bird in a nightclub . She whispered , do you fancy coming back to mine, I've got a fanny the size of a polo. "I said" Oh yes" . When we got back to her place I pulled down her knickers and gasped.. She said, " surprised?" I said " Totally. I thought you meant the mint not the f@rking hatchback!!

[layback40]

Women in a bar sat on a stool..says to barman,a pint and a whisky plz...she drinks the pint and pours the whisky down her knickers.she does this five times.barman says.i dont mind you ordering the drinks.but why do you pour the whisky down your nickers?...well she said.ive just won the lottery and thats the only tw@t getting a drink out of me!!..

[layback40]

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.
"I really need a new f@rking boat," I thought to myself.

[layback40]

I have an idea for a new TV show. It involves Chris Tarrant being kidnapped and tortured by Fern Britton. It would be called
Britton's Got Tarrant!!..

[layback40]

My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

[layback40]

The doorbell rings and I open the door to find my mother-in-law on the doorstep with a suitcase in her hand.
"Don't worry," she says. "I'll only be staying until I get on your nerves."
"No problem. I'll call a taxi then!!..

[layback40]

Today is national 'Be Kind To Donkeys Day'............ So KISS MY ASS!!..