How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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Guts v Balls Medical Distinction between Guts and Balls. There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.' I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically, speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both are fatal.

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I was watching Peppa Pig this morning when my wife decided to turn the telly off for no reason.
How childish is that?..

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A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.
So, he hired a famous Chinese detective,
Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any
activities that might develop.
A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow. He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see. No Fee!!..

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How do you make a blonde laugh on a sunday?
tell her a joke on a wednesday!!..

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Can you imagine a world without laughter?
A world without hugs & kisses?
A world of constant sadness?
A world of not being able to make your own choices or having your own opinion?
Well that world exists.
Just get married!!..

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Last night my dish washer was making some weird noises, so I checked it to see if it was broken. Turned out she was just vacuuming!!..

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Staggering through town late last night, when I came across a group of women out celebrating.
I shouted the usual for a laugh, "Show me your tits, girls!"
To my surprise all of them obliged giving me a quick flash before replying back, "Show us your nuts, handsome!"
So, I started licking the lamp post and waving my arms about.

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I used to play my guitar and sing to the kids at the nursery. But they sacked me, apparently The Muslims on the bus go bang bang bang isn't an acceptable verse!!!